Tag Archive for movie review

Wonder Woman: Inspiration and Pain and Moving Forward

Wonder Woman. So many reactions to this movie.  And for me, the movie itself has not only inspired the Feels, but the reactions to the movie have as well, good and bad.

Wonder Woman

 

Most reactions that I see are inspiring and wonderful, such as this list of reactions from students in a Kindergarten class, or this awesome video of a woman inspired to play like Wonder Woman and kicking imaginary butt.  The garden hose bit gives me endless joy.

I see all of the people uplifted and inspired by this movie and it makes my heart sing.

There have also been negative reactions too.  Some, as one would expect, from men who just don’t get it (or feel somehow threatened in their worldview).  But also criticisms from women who felt the movie misstepped with hurtful exclusions or stereotyping, or was too narrow in its feminism.

I posted before about how I wished we could have more “Yes, And” rather than “Yes, But.”
I see “Yes, and” in the reactions to the Wonder Woman movie like the Bazaar piece, and I find that as inspiring as the movie itself.  Because how we talk about issues even in a Wonder Woman movie has implications and impacts that go way beyond this one movie.

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I Loved My Visit to Black Mirror’s San Junipero

Black Mirror San Junipero episode

Black Mirror: San Junipero hit all of my (and Finn’s) sweet spots!

I think part of the positive reactions might be due to the fact that Black Mirror is pretty consistently bleak, but reality right now is practically a Black Mirror episode, so an episode that was (possibly) hopeful was such a nice gift.

And yes, the concept’s been well covered, so I understand why some may feel that viewer’s reactions to that concept are overblown, but many viewers may not be deeply read in scifi, so their “mind blown” reactions are understandable and a perfectly good thing.

I am fine if people discover, say, robots through Star Trek or Westworld without going back to read Asimov first (or at all) if Asimov doesn’t appeal to them (and no I’m not saying San Junipero is about robots).

We each have limited time to read and consume media, I don’t think it makes someone less of a genre fan or their love of or reaction to something less valid if they only have experience with recently produced media and not the foundational classics or the past century of fiction.

Yes, knowing the whole history of robot fiction might enrich one’s experience of a new robot story — or at least allow one say clever literary things like “this story was in dialogue with the works of Obscure Author, exploring the metaphor of so and so.”

But it also might not. And in the end, I love the possible conversations a story like this might spark among a group of friends around a table (in between Instagramming whatever artisanal fare they are eating, of course).

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Justice League Movie Review (From the Future)

I have run fast enough from the theater in the future to break the time barrier and return here to give you my review of the movie.

There was a lot about the JLA movie that was sheer awesome!  A lot of cool, snapshot poses, a lot of awesome uses of superpowers.

But by the end I felt disappointed, and even a bit bored.

 

The first problem was the character intros.

As expected, we spend a good chunk of the movie meeting the new heroes, and getting bits of their backstory.  Flash.  Aquaman.  Cyborg.  This was the first big challenge of the movie, to make us care about these characters, so that later when they are fighting and in danger, we actually care whether or not they win, whether or not they are hurt.  Care whether or not they achieve some kind of happiness, or peace, as a result of the choices and changes they make through the course of the movie.

But we simply did not get enough time with each character to feel connected to them, to care.  I rooted for the Flash just because he was funny and likeable.  But what Pixar did in five minutes at the beginning of Up, JLA did not manage to do in the roughly ten minutes of character establishment per character.

Even Batman did not move me much, because we haven’t really spent much time with Affleck’s Batman except in his ragey conflict with Superman, so all his pain and the tragic experiences of his past that would make forming a team and being responsible for others a fear to overcome for him (e.g. the loss of a Robin to the Joker) has not really been established here.

Wonder Woman, at least, we understand a little after her LONG overdue solo movie.  Which is probably one reason she was the most relatable hero beside Flash.

 

Heroes aside, though, I think the biggest problem was the enemy.

Steppenwolf and his MacGuffincubes

Steppenwolf and his MacGuffincubes

 

Basically, our heroes did not have an interesting villain with goals and motivations that we could relate to on some level.  I never felt the villain had personal stakes that I cared about yet knew would be bad for our world and our heroes.  Instead, we had a CGI Alien Armor Big Bad who wants some evil boxes, and a bunch of CGI aliens and robots to help him get them, and that would be bad.  Because it is bad.

Yes, the battle scenes were epic and full of superpowered awesome.  But I never felt that Steppenwolf forced a hero to confront their deepest fear or flaw and overcome it.  I never felt that Steppenwolf presented a personal challenge to any of the heroes, that he was the worst possible enemy the hero could have had to face at this time because of what they had been through, or what they were struggling with.

Steppenwolf is a master strategist, yet I never really felt there was a clever cat and mouse game going on between him and Batman that made Batman question his own brilliance or ability or willingness to lead others into danger and death.  Steppenwolf never really made me feel he had pushed Batman to the edge and the Bats might lose it if anyone died on his watch.  They just were racing each other to get the boxes, a simple set of escalating challenges.

Steppenwolf is a badass, but I never felt that in his conflict with Wonder Woman or Aquaman that any of them were forced to question their own strength, the responsibility or consequences of strength, or who they were without it.

Part of the reason the Avengers worked well by comparison is that they faced off against Loki, a villain we had come to know already, a person filled with pain and anger and tragic, twisted need that drove him, a guy who really just wanted to be loved above all others (is that so wrong?).  And because Loki played on each hero’s insecurities and flaws and fears, and turned friend against friend.  Likewise, in Civil War, the enemy plays the heroes own flaws and pain against each other, turning friend against friend.  And in Avengers 2, Scarlet Witch does something similar.

Steppenwolf did not really achieve that.  He was not an enemy of the Justice League, of the heroes individually or as a team.  He was just big badass enemy, a threat.

And as demonstrated by the Phantom Menace, simply destroying an army of enemy robots in an epic battle can in fact be extremely boring.

Finally, I understood why of course they had to keep Superman out of it for most of the movie, for much the same reason that Hulk wasn’t in Civil War (he would have just smashed anyone on the opposing team, etc).  But his moping/angst over the events in Batman vs Superman was a bit of a lame reason for the delay.

In summary, I of course went and saw this movie, and overall it was a fun popcorn flick.  How could I not go to see the JLA on the big screen?  Not to mention Jason Momoa and Gal Gadot kicking ass and looking hot doing it.  But if you are going to have all the grimdark and Pew Pew, you need to balance it with a tad more humor, and a lot more heart, than JLA delivered.

Maybe the Extended Cut DVD will fix it.

 

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Those Other Christmas Movies

I love the Christmas season.  But there are only so many good holiday movies.  And then you start to get into the less good holiday movies.  If you don’t ration properly, you may be watching Earnest Saves Christmas before you know it.

I also am a sucker for romance.  Anyone whose read my stories probably picked up on that.

Which brings us to that special class of movie: the Hallmark/ ABC Made for TV Holiday Romance.  These have, I’ll admit, become my guilty pleasure over the holidays.  And here’s my breakdown of the ones most commonly available.

HOLIDAY IN HANDCUFFS

Holiday in Handcuffs

Despite the lack of BDSM play, it still had a better story than 50 Shades.

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Stargate Continu-dumb Review

From the Head of the Q.U. Crypto-Visual Media Department

 

Summary – lamerific.  And since I’m not feeling too lazy to come up with anything better (unlike the writers of the movie, apparently), here’s some detail as to why.

 

Ark of Truth neatly wrapped up most of the loose ends of the series, and had plenty of action.

 

Stargate Coninuum served no purpose that I could see, and took a long boring time to do so. 

 

The premise was okay – Baal goes back in time and messes with the timeline so SG-1 is never formed.  A premise with great potential that was, unfortunately, already explored with better results in the series (with that super-geeky Sam and Daniel episode.  No, no, the other one.  No, not that one, the – oh, never mind).

 

But here’s a (lightly spoilerish) short list of why the movie dropped the ball:

 

1.  It Takes Forever for Anything to Happen.  Really. 

Okay folks, this is the last Stargate SG-1 movie.  Ever.  You have one and a half hours to give us a movie that will be the culmination and apex of the Stargate SG-1 saga.  Every minute should count. 

 

So what do they do? 

 

Open with a boring ceremony, and have SG-1 stand around talking about how boring it is.  (i.e. the exciting battle against … falling asleep).

 

Next, have them spend time using their incredible investigative skills to figure out that they are in a frozen ship (i.e. the exciting battle against … being lost). 

 

Then have them find a way out of the frozen ship (i.e. the exciting battle against … frozen water). 

 

Then have them wandering across a frozen landscape for a while (i.e. the exciting battle against … being cold). 

 

Then have them be rescued, and have a thrilling, long montage of … talking.  About nothing we don’t already know. (i.e. the exciting battle to … uh, whatever).

 

Then have them stuck in boring, everyday lives (i.e. the exciting battle against … being normal).  Which would have been fine if they had done anything with those lives that showed some character development, or if they had formed relationships that they then would have to sacrifice if they restored their timeline (emotional risk).  But nope.  Sam buys fruit-flavored cereal.  I’m SO glad you made a final movie so I could see THAT!

 

Oh look, movie’s more than half over, and so far, NOTHING INTERESTING HAS HAPPENED!

 

2. Completely Unnecessary Coincidence:

The captain of the ship that brought the Stargate to America was the grandfather of Colonel Mitchell?  Why?  How did that in any way add to the story?  Answer: it did not.  It only strained belief.  The captain could have been anybody and the story would have remained exactly the same.  Mitchell’s grandfather could have been killed in WWII as a result of the changed timeline without having to be the captain of the ship if the “grandfather” paradox was really so important to maintain. 

 

I can only assume that one of the writers suggested that Mitchell go back and turn out to be his own grandfather; they drafted the script, and then when the “own grandfather” idea got scrapped (rightly so) mid-production, they forgot why they even had Mitchell’s granddad as a character (and they’d already invested in the aging makeup), so still worked him in somehow.

 

 

3.  Where was Jonas Quinn and Anubis and Janet Fraiser? 

Seriously, Jonas was a key member of SG-1 for an entire season, and I enjoyed that season just as much as any other (and more than some).  If this is the final hurrah, you couldn’t find a way to work him in as well?  Have Baal scoop up the naquadria for a super power source to power his time machine or something? 

 

For that matter, where was Anubis?  He was a near-invincible super-baddie across multiple seasons, so if SG-1 didn’t stop him in this new timeline, how did Baal do so?  A nod at least to the biggest big bad, please.

 

And you couldn’t even slip in Janet as the doctor who examines the team after they’re rescued or something?  Sure, that’s stretching credibility, but that’s the kind of stretching the fans would be forgiving about.

 

 

4. No Relationship Resolutions. 

They hinted in the end of the series that Sam and O’Neil finally hooked up.  And that in the future, Jackson and Valla would do so.  So what’s the point of having a final movie if you don’t actually progress or wrap up the relationships of the characters at all?

 

 

In Conclusion

Seriously, this movie was just a waste of time to make, and a bigger waste to watch.  Not that that will stop anyone from watching it – it is, after all, the last bit of SG-1 you’ll ever get.

 

Stargate Continuum could have been great, should have been great, and instead it ended an exciting series with a yawn.  For shame.  I hope they decide to treat it like Marvel did the Ang Lee Hulk movie by pretending it never happened, and go make the REAL final Stargate SG-1 movie.  You know, one with some action.

 

 

On a Side Note

What’s up with the credits on these movies?  For both Stargate movies, all the other actors are listed with just their real names “Ben Browder,” “Amanda Tapping,” “Christopher Judge,” “Claudia Black,” et al, and then, at the end, in the place of honor, even after “Special Appearance by Richard Dean Anderson,” comes: “and Michael Shanks as Daniel Jackson” as if they were saying “and Charlton Heston as Moses” or something. 

 

Your Assignment:

What were your thoughts on Continuum?  How could it have been better?  Let me know, so I can go back in time and prevent this disappointment from ever being made.

 

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The Sappening

(Warning: While it would be impossible to “spoil” something as mind-numbingly boring or inherently rotten as The Happening, I suppose I should warn you that reading this may tip you off to the movie’s “secrets.”  Although, of course, the movie’s secrets are not as plausible as the real events described below.  So read on.  Really.  You won’t regret knowing.)

 

It seems that some of the sentient plants intended for delivery to our Crypto-Genetics Lab were accidentally delivered to our Culinary Arts department (who “employ” a large army of leprechauns in the basement making food products for sale to various grocery chains). 

 

As a result, many a contaminated product has been shipped to various stores and markets under our generic “store brand” labels.

 

We’ve traced the delivery mixup back to a rhododendron plant in Mrs. Pennywhistle’s yard, north Kitsap, Washington, which apparently placed a call to the delivery people and claimed to be me.  My staff says it does a great impression of me.  I don’t see it. 

 

Anyway, clearly the delivery error was no accident, but rather a deliberate retaliation by nature.

 

You see, nature is angry that we have not done enough to protect Mother Earth and its vegetation. 

 

If eaten, the sap of these sentient plants mixes with digestive enzymes to create a neurotoxin, which causes the eater to break wind. 

 

Beware the wind!

 

The stench is enough to make you kill yourself.  Seriously.  Hundreds of people have already bought the farm, and it wasn’t pretty. 

 

Although it was kind of cool.  I mean, we couldn’t help but stand around and watch. 

 

One guy, he killed himself with a blender.  And not a giant blender either, just a regular “make me a mudslide” blender, so it was kind of messy, and slow.  But we all were impressed with his level of commitment and perseverance.  I believe his final words were, “Lawn mowers are for wusses.”

 

Another one jumped off a roof.  But it wasn’t very high, and he just broke his legs.  So, you know, we had to take shifts watching him croak there on the lawn.  It got a bit annoying towards the end, what with him whining about thirst and all, and one freshman actually tried to stop and help him (what is society coming to, I ask you?). But it was satisfyingly tragic all the same. 

 

And the third person, well, she watched The Happening fifteen times in a row.

 
So, hey, Nature, message received.  Consider us warned.

That is why I am starting a campaign to end the rapacious destruction of vegetation — by supporting efforts to wipe out pandas.  And koala bears. And lambs.  And giraffes.  And definitely bunnies, the greedy little bastards. 

Your Assignment:
Share your thoughts on The Happening, on what plants think or feel, or on the many ways nature will certainly destroy us in the end.  For extra credit, provide a yummy vegetarian recipe.

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Is a Good Time Travel Movie Really So Hard?

I see that Warner Brothers mangled (er, I mean made) Bradbury’s classic story “A Sound of Thunder” into B-grade movie. Given the source material, there was a chance the movie would actually be good. But alas, I hear it is, at best, so so.

I haven’t the heart to actually watch, because unfortunately, too many time travel movies I’ve seen lately have sucked T-Rex doo-doo.

THE CLASSIC REMADE — BADLY
I recently watched the 2002 remake of The Time Machine again. And as much as I would love to have the time machine prop from that film as the centerpiece in my living room, I remember now why it’s been years since I watched this film.

[ALERT! TIME MACHINE SPOILER] One thing in particular really ruined the movie, and made the hero seem like a whiny wimp to me. And that is that he goes back one time to try and save his true love. One time. And when that doesn’t work out, he spends the rest of the film on a quest to the future to discover why he can’t change the past.

Newsflash, bozo, you did change the past.

Instead of his love being killed by a mugger, she is killed by a man’s steam car. The mugger is free to commit more crimes on an entirely different couple. The man who owned the steam car has been changed forever, and probably arrested for manslaughter. And maybe, if you tried again, and tried a little harder, you could actually save your love on the third try. Why not give it a go, what the heck. She’s only the true love you broke the laws of time for. Surely she’s worth a whopping TWO tries?
[TERMINATE TIME MACHINE SPOILER]

PREMONITION OF SUCKINESS
A more recent example of stupid time travel movies is Premonition.

It sucked. And here’s the spoiler-free reason why:

She doesn’t actually try to change anything (except possibly at the end). So what’s the point of making a movie like this, a predictable and average marriage drama with the “twist” of the days shown out of order, if she doesn’t actually do anything different or special with her foreknowledge?

As soon as she realized she was jumping back and forth in time, the next time she jumped backwards she should have done everything she could to change future events.

[ALERT! PREMONITION SPOILER – THOUGH ITS HARD TO SPOIL A CRAPTACULAR MOVIE LIKE THIS]
I have one word for you, lady – Mapquest! Take a few minutes and look up an alternate route for your husband! Seriously.

There a hundred things she could have changed, such as not seeking out the doctor she knows will later commit her, or even scheduling the funeral for a different day.

But the absolute worse? The one that had me shouting “Oh my GAWD!” and ready to throw something at the screen?

PUT THE FREAKIN STICKERS ON THE WINDOW! Geez!

“I’m a good mother!” she cries after her daughter crashes through a window and gets her face all cut up. The husband is all mangry about the fact that she didn’t put stickers on the window as they’d discussed so that the girls could see the window and NOT run into it.

Then she goes back in time to before that event, on Sunday, and does she put the stickers on? Does she save her daughter that pain and scarring? Or even just tell her daughter “Don’t run through the window when I ask you to get the laundry later”? NO!

Instead she goes running off seeking answers on her time jumping from … a priest, who inexplicably just whips out the big ole book about precognitive occurrences — you know, every church has one — and reads it to her??? WTF?

And I don’t want to hear crap about the immutable flow of time, theories on the inability to change future events, blah blah blah. Because, if she had tried and failed, well, that would be something now, wouldn’t it? I’m all for her trying to change the future but then events conspiring to put the timeline back in order and things proceeding as they were intended to anyway. That would be cool. That would be interesting. That would give her even greater reason for frustration and tension, as she fights against time itself and is thwarted. Will she succeed? We just don’t know.

But, again, SHE DIDN’T EVEN TRY!

And no, attempting to stop the accident at the end doesn’t count, because we don’t know she didn’t do so in the first place. And besides, that is a really, really lame “twist” ending when you see it coming from the start.
[TERMINATE PREMONITION SPOILER. AND IF POSSIBLE, THE GENIUSES WHO BRING US SUCH CRAPPY TIME TRAVEL FILMS]

GOOD TIME-TRAVEL MOVIES? (AS OPPOSED TO GOOD-TIME TRAVEL MOVIES)
I mean, this is how much I hated Premonition – I actually enjoyed The Butterfly Effect by comparison. Seriously, an Ashton Kutcher film was frickin’ genius when compared to Premonition – that can’t be good.

At least The Butterfly Effect attempted to be clever about its back and forth time jumping, setting up his later jumps early in the movie. Unlike in both Time Machine and Premonition, he tries multiple times to change things, and we get to see how each small change in the past leads to largely different futures.

Heck, even Timecop with Jean-Claude Van Damme is better than the new Time Machine or Premonition. And dude, so is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, for that matter.

As for other time travel films:
Back to the Future was whacky fun-ness, if light on the science.

Twelve Monkeys is a great movie that used time travel well, but could have been equally great using some gimmick other than time travel.

Donnie Darko (theatrical version, not the director’s confuso-cut), one of my fave movies that has, among other things, a fairly satisfying use of time travel.

Michael Chrichton’s Timeline was okay, but lacked most of the science facts and science fictions that make the book great.

Somewhere in Time is a quiet little gem, but more a romance or drama than a “time travel” movie in my mind.

Both the 1960’s version of Time Machine, and the movie Time after Time, were enjoyable, especially compared to the 2002 Time Machine movie.

Millenium and The Final Countdown were so-so, Timerider is cheesy goodness, and Time Bandits is comic genius but could hardly be considered science fiction.

Groundhog Day and Run Lola Run are brilliant, but fall only loosely under the umbrella of time travel.

Star Trek IV and Star Trek First Contact were among the better Star Trek films (take that as you choose). And yes, SG-1 Season 8’s “Moebius” episodes were cool. But man did they blow “1969” – I mean, what the heck was up with that music?

Your Assignment

What about you? Any favorite time travel movies? Or television shows? (Greatest time travel show of all time – Dr. Who, Quantum Leap, or Voyagers? ) Or thoughts on the movies listed above? Or your own ideas for great time travel movies?

How about worse time travel movies (A Knight in Camelot with Whoopi Goldberg anyone?). Or general pet peeves about time travel movies (like superheroes that turn back time by flying around the earth really, really fast)?

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The Problem with SCI FI Original Movies

“SCI FI Saturday: The most dangerous night of television!”

You can say that again.  With a few exceptions that are based on quality fiction (such as the Dune movies), SCI FI Original Movies are an astounding mixture of cultural insensitivity, historical inaccuracy, disregard for actual science, horrible acting, and home-computer quality effects.  Which is too bad, because they could do so much better.

In fact, they are so bad that a variety of drinking games have sprung up around watching them, both to make them more interesting, and to simultaneously dull the pain.

Here’s my own little game for ya’ (drinking is optional).

Below are a few SCI FI Original Movie descriptions. Some of them are real. Others I just made up. Can you guess which are which?


1. AZTEC REX: The Aztecs summoned a Tyrannosaurus Rex to keep Cortes (Ian Ziering from ‘90210′) and his army out of Mexico. Now they need the Conquistadors’ help to stop the T-Rex from killing them all – and to save the beautiful Aztec princess (played by sexy Nepalese actress Dichen Lachman).

2. Night of the Three-Eyed Cyclops: When archeologist Zip Steel uncovers an ancient Greek pyramid, he finds he’s found the find of a lifetime. But when the pyramid’s guardian awakens, it will be one dark and stormy night for Zip and the beautiful belly dancer-turned-translator Jenny Jenson. Can they survive long enough to find the heart of the pyramid’s maze, and gain the power of Pluto’s Diadem?

3. Earthstorm: When an asteroid slams into the moon, cataclysmic aftereffects threaten to destroy Earth. Scientists call on demolitions expert John Redding (Stephen Baldwin) to save the day. Dirk Benedict and Anna Silk co-star.

4. Dragons of Elsinore: Hamlet must pretend to be insane, as he plots against the sorcerer whose dragon killed Hamlet’s father and now holds the tropical kingdom of Denmark hostage! Co-stars Bambi Honeywell as Ifeelia.

5. Manticore: A tough U.S. Army squad is sent to a small Iraqi town to locate a missing news crew. What they find is the manticore, a mythic beast unleashed by a terrorist leader to protect the land from unwanted invaders. A lion with dragon’s wings and a scorpion’s tail, the manticore will give these soldiers the fight of their lives.

6. Prawn Storm!: Model-turned-singer Cindy Shazam and her bodyguard, a grizzled ex-Navy Seal with a dark secret, are stranded in a small village when their tour bus breaks down – just as a swarm of giant mutant prawns attacks! Featuring the music of Paris Hilton.

7. ADAM REX! Stalwart priest Father Dirk Studwell and exotic dancer-turned-Sunday school teacher Pamela Sweetings stumble across a gay conspiracy meeting, where couples plot to engage in monogamous lifelong relationships. But before they can stop the conspiracy they are sent back 6,000 years to Earth’s creation! With the help of early historical figures Samson and George Washington, can they stop a T-Rex from destroying the tropical garden of Eden and return to the present to set things extremely right?!

8. Dog Soldiers: A squad of British soldiers, training in an isolated Scottish glen, find lycanthropic action under a full moon. It’s werewolves vs. hardware — and more than that, it’s a gritty, naturalistic drama with relentless action and a band-of-brothers poignancy. An ensemble cast led by charismatic Brit tough-guy actors Sean Pertwee (Event Horizon, Soldier) plus “can’t-take-your-eyes-off-her” newcomer Emma Cleasby, fleshes out a taut tale of blood ‘n’ guts — in both meanings of the term.

9. Mantiwhore: In the midst of a violent vice crackdown in Los Angeles, jaded cowboy-turned-cop Jake Stone (Biff Bradley) searches for his stepsister-turned-prostitute, Shaniqua. What he finds is the mantiwhore, a mythic beast unleashed by a pimp (Tyrell Black) to punish his hos and kill nosy cops. A hot-momma lioness with dragon’s wings, a scorpion’s tail, and one hell of a body, the mantiwhore will test Jake’s courage, and force him to explore animal feelings he thought buried on the farm long, long ago.

10. Frankenfish: Medical investigator Sam Rivers is assigned to investigate murders in the Louisiana swamps. Together with beautiful biologist Mary Callahan, they soon come face to face with genetically engineered Chinese snake-heads! Between Rivers and the wealthy hunter who owns the creatures, can they catch the one that got away, or will it catch them?!

11. Alien Flood: When a comet hits the moon sending it crashing into Mexico, a giant tidal wave of illegal immigrants threatens to sweep across the southern United States. Scientists call on general contractor Tex Nails to save the day. Can he and his rag tag crew of plumbers, framers, and concrete layers build a giant wall in time to stop the flood of hard-working aliens?

12. Crimson Force: An earth crew lands on Mars in search of the ultimate power source hidden somewhere beneath the ground. What they find is a civil war between the High Priest of Mars, and the High Priestess. The crew is split apart over which side to take – can they come together in time to stop the sexy High Priestess’s secret plans to invade earth?

13. Back in Black: Muslim leader Malcom X (played by New Zealand soap star Tawera Roa) travels back to Charleston in the age of slavery to battle the true source of slavery – aliens who brainwashed the poor white slave owners into thinking slavery was cool. But he must first overcome the surprising resistance, and the heart, of beautiful dancer-turned-slave Harriet Tubman (Asian pop-star Asumi Kobayashi). Can he help the poor plantation owners in time? (Post-Production Note: “We recognize that some viewers may be offended by this film, but we assure you that we meant no offense to you, the descendents of former slave owners. Our intent was to provide an ironic example of how a Muslim extremist might have saved freedom in America – thus helping to bridge the gap between Americans and them Arab people.”)

14. Heatstroke: She’s a model, he’s an elite commando. They’re going to solve global warming — by destroying the aliens who are causing it!

15. Terra Sharka: When beautiful women are found dead and half-naked in their homes from apparent shark attacks, Oceanologist-turned-detective Gunn Rockwell must figure out what is killing them, and how it is getting into their homes without any sign of forced entry. Co-stars Chevy Chase.

16. The Phantomly Menacing: Two space knights must stop the efforts of a large Asian alien (”Asiens” for short) trade competitor with offensive mock-”Oriental” accents, who are trying to overthrow the power and sanctity of a democratic government. Will both the knights and the Asiens succumb to the dark manipulations of a dark lord using a dark force, or will hero Bar-Bar Jinks (played by Carrot Top) save the day with his whacky antics? Starring Christopher Lambert as the Space Knight, and Stephen Baldwin as his apprentice.

(Answers are in a response post below (aka back of the book).  But don’t cheat).

Your assignment: Add your own suggestions for SCI FI Original Movies, games related to them, or your thoughts in general on these lovely creations.

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