Archive for April 21, 2010

Bizarro Fiction 101

My Bizarro Fiction 101 interview with Eraserhead Press  publisher Rose O’Keefe is now up at Fantasy Magazine :


Important Robot Army Alert!

I have in the past mentioned here and there my robot monkey army. However, it has come to my attention that several others have previously, or more famously, laid claim to robot monkey armies (most notably Mary Robinette Kowal).

Therefore, I hereby announce that I have ceased production on my robot monkey armies, and am now creating a MEERKAT ROBOT ARMY! BWAH-HA-HA-HAAaaaaaa (and so forth).


My Base is Well Protected by my Meer-Turret 1000

The Meerkatatat 1000 is Firepower at its most Firepowerfulest!



To go against this Meer-bot Army would be Meerkatastrophic!


My Norwescon Weekend

This is a bit delayed as I’ve been non-stop busy since Norwescon, but here’s my post-con wrap up, and some photos of costumed geekery at its finest.


Had my first reading.  Went well I think.  I didn’t forget to contain the incredible but chaotic powers that burn inside me and thus burst into multi-colored flames that consumed the entire convention.  So, you know, that was good.  A big thanks to everyone who showed up, especially the lovely artist Shelly Henderson who is not a big convention fan.

Kris Millering gave a nice reading of The Isthmus Variation (forthcoming in Beneath Ceaseless Skies).

At the bar, Shel and I sat next to a travelling whole-foods salesman from Alaska who was quite drunk and bought us drinks.  He lives in the northernmost town in Alaska, and one of his popular products is seal oil, as in oil from seals, which apparently tastes like bad fish and Alaskan natives put on lots of food as a condiment —  including things you wouldn’t think would taste great with seal oil, like berries.   He gave a beautiful description of the northern lights as well, comparing them to a symphony in the sky that you hear though it doesn’t make a sound.

And lastly I was on a zombie panel with Jack SkillingsteadDaryl Gregory, and Anthony VanWinkle.   Unfortunately, the con folks scheduled a zombie walk at the same time as our zombie panel, so the room wasn’t exactly packed (more like, “chips may settle in bag” kind of full).  And the moderator was unable to make it, so I arrived to find myself moderator.  But I had a good time nonetheless.  Shelly asked a lot of great questions, I think just to show off how smart she is.

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A Bit of Fun with Vampires and Zombies

My riffs on the vampire and zombie trends went up at Fantasy Magazine:

Where Will the Vampire Trend End Up Next?

And My Real and Personal Zombie Fears


The Kung Fu Kid

I just watched the trailer for the new Karate Kid movie.  It looks pretty good, and actually follows the storyline of the original movie pretty closely.

But here’s the thing:  It is a movie about Kung Fu (Chinese martial arts) set in China.

Karate is a Japanese martial art.

Karate Kid.

Kung Fu.

Now, as much as I know that in general China and Japan love each other with the kind of love that can only come from a long history of beautiful and peaceful coexistence and cultural exchange (ahem), and I know that all that there “Oriental” stuff is all the same, and I understand the franchise branding issue, I still find it odd that the name made it past any Hollywood marketing person with an ounce of intelligence.

Oh wait …

Well, still, what are they going to do next?  Cast a dorky white dude (of Hebrew descent) as the Prince of Persia (aka Iran)?  I mean, come on!  Try to have some common sense Hollywood peoples!

EDIT: Tarrell Childs pointed out the following on Facebook in response to my comment on this subject: 

“There is actually a reason within the story that explains them using the Title. Most people with half a brain know that Kung Fu is not Karate. The kid knows a little karate, but obviously not enough to deal with kids who learn Kung Fu from the time they can walk. So he has to learn the local martial art. Remember, Daniel-san in the first movie was teaching hisself ‘karate’ from a book before he got his butt kicked and Mr. Miyagi saved his ass. Story still fits here, except with a slight twist.”
And so I stand corrected 🙂  There is a thin excuse to still call the film “Karate Kid.”  Just as they could call it “American Beats Chinese at Chinese Martial Arts” because, you know, the story technically supports that title as well.

All I’m saying is, I’m glad to see their choices in casting, and in moving the movie to China, but they really dropped the ball in naming the movie, at least in my humble opinion.